Saturday morning I went through my usual morning routine. I fixed a cup of coffee and grabbed a protein bar from the fridge (yes, I keep them in the fridge, they are better cold), picked up my journals, and wrote for about half an hour. When I closed my journal, my coffee cup empty and my protein bar gone, I stood up and told myself it was time to go for a run.
I did not want to.
The training plan I’m following, which is structured for the Beach to Beacon (even if it isn’t happening), called for me to do a progression run. Nothing too daunting, just 20 seconds per mile faster every 5 minutes until I reach a pace I can’t hold for the full 5 minutes. The workout itself didn’t worry me, even if I crashed pretty hard the last time I tried it (that’s kind of the point, I think, find out where you crash), I just didn’t want to do, well, anything.
It’s not all that surprising. I haven’t been particularly motivated to run, or do much else, lately. I’m not sleeping well, and the heat and humidity doesn’t agree with me. My diet has been trash. My fitness, and my overall health, is not exactly where I would like it to be lately.
I did get out the door and do that progression run. It wasn’t great, but I’m able to write in my training log and move on. I made it through 25 minutes, working my way down to 5 minutes at 7:47 pace and called it a day. Well, I had to jog home, which was an additional 2 miles, but I tapped out on the workout after 25 minutes and less than 3 miles. I was pooped by the time I finished my 5-mile day.
I’m not bumming too hard about my lack of motivation right now. I mean, I’m not training for anything. I’m pretty sure this pandemic is going to keep me (and everyone else) from racing for at least the rest of the year. I just hate feeling lazy, sluggish and unmotivated.
I’m not really sure how to snap out of this. I’ve heard that mood follows action, but I’ve tried to get myself going by getting going and my mood hasn’t changed lately.
I just don’t wanna.
One friend suggested I just run every day, easy. No workouts. No time trials. Nothing other than jogging. It’s worth a shot, but I usually have a hard time getting out the door every day if all I’m doing is going out for a jog. I’ve tried to mix things up, hitting the trails on occasion, but I’m not really a trail runner and spend more time worrying about falling flat on my face, then enjoying the views and the effort. The gym is open, which always makes it easier to do the little things like PT and maintenance, but I will not be going to the gym anytime soon, not in the middle of a pandemic, thanks.
I’ve tossed around a few ideas in my own head as well:
• The 4x4x48 challenge but I haven’t run 48 miles in a week since October, much less in 48 hours.
• A 1-mile time trial, then train to try to run one faster in a month, then again in two months. Great idea, but the last time I ran a mile,
• Train like the Beach to Beacon is actually happening, then run a time trial on the day the race was supposed to happen. This is sort of what I’m doing, but, as I’ve written here, my motivation is … blah.
I don’t have the answer to find my missing motivation. I guess the answer for now is to keep slogging alone. Maybe I’ll try one of the challenges above. Maybe I’ll convince myself to act like a runner who gives a shit, or at least like the runner I was last summer when I trained just hard enough to PR by 27 seconds in the marathon. Maybe I’ll start sleeping better and eating better, and that will help.
Maybe this blah feeling will just continue until it’s time to do my next progression run.